суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

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Itapos;s really late right now, I just got off of work.
My life is consumed by work, school, and basketball.
Iapos;m not even sure who my friends are anymore.
Iapos;m going to actually start blogging now.
Itapos;s been a hard year, falls here and I couldnapos;t be happier.
Itapos;s the time of year that was best for me last year.
The time that�brought all of the pieces of me together.
I tick better when itapos;s brisk outside.

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N�o me fodi mas tipo,quase.tirei 6.1 e t� com 6.0,6.0,6.0,agora eu me pergunto como vai ser minha vida sem o simulado?na boa t� com muito medo de me foder,se eu me foder a vida vai ser FODA t� paray de palavr�o hihi,quero mais um sneek peak do clipe e nossa s�rio.aula de matem�tica amanh� ningu�m merece mas eu n�o quero me foder e e e eu t� legal.mais ou menos.esse neg�cio das meninas,nossa,algu�m aqui sabe o que � ser ref�m por uma semana?que verme,que verme.o tg disse que tinha coisa por dentro mas de qualquer jeito primeiro amor,ela 12 ele 19,como,e como que o advogado cara de pau me fala que foi uma PROVA DE AMOR?

tu chama isso de prova de amor?um tiro na cabe�a e outro na virilha s�o serenatas,tu pode ter certeza.







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I have a fever now. Granted, itapos;s a low one. But still. I probably had it yesterday, too, but was too distracted by my inability to breathe to notice. Letapos;s hope I feel better by tomorrow afternoon when I head to the Fox to see Wicked.

My mom told me that I have to go to the adoption agency to request the information about my birth parents. I really want to know...but Iapos;m also really nervous about it.

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пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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Guys Iapos;m fucking loosing it I binged again I was going to take lax but I spit them all out to the ground. I just couldnapos;t then I went in the house and I loocked for the laxatives on the ground Outside I mean how fucking drgrading I only found one and just to make it better Iapos;m going nuts Iapos;m hearing things in my house I feel terrible I am geting goosebumps What the hell is going on?I feel like it is the fucking end of the world my world I wanna end my life so bad sometimes I swear I will fast tomorow And the next day

I h8 my life y me?
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Oct 17, 2008 (Fri) 6:12 am

What a ride...

Finding out Elias f***ed that Cheryl after all after weapos;d broken up. Sheapos;s 28 - donapos;t tell me he didnapos;t know what she was after right from the start. Learning that he still thinks what happened that night I got drunk was my fault.
My God, if I was a cat with a heart problem, Iapos;dapos;ve died nine times over.
For now, Iapos;m not even going to try and comprehend it, Iapos;m just gonna continue with school and work and life and music and friends and religion and not forget whatapos;s important and whatapos;s just a pus-filled pimple on my ass. Iapos;m not going to cut myself, drink or otherwise undo all the work and effort I (and other people) have put in to get better. I refuse to let one selfish, immoral, self-centered, manipulative, lying, dishonest, back-stabbing, ungrateful, demanding, hypocritical, disgusting,�unintelligent, disloyal, sweet-talking, rude, inconsiderate, immature, irresponsible, pretending, lazy, insignificant lifeform be the ruin of me. I�am better than that - not exactly perfect - but at least I possess some semblance of reasoning and sense. Not to mention great people who either relate, listen or both and are still there.

But I have to say that the anger and disbelief and hurt and pain were somewhat offset by something really nice that Aaron said. At one point he mentioned that heapos;d missed hanging out as I am apparently "someone intelligent", instead of his other friends - around whom he felt he "got dumber". That really made me melt; I was unaware that our friendship meant something to him.
Aaron is so easy to fall for, really. Heapos;s very smart and funny and in-your-face but not excessively offensive, and I think heapos;s huggable and cute. But I donapos;t like him in that way. I mean sure, maybe a little innocent�crush, but no more than that. Heapos;s just been really great these past few days.

I was also upfront with Sarah about how Iapos;d been unsure if she and I could still be friends since Elias is, after all of this, her brother, and blood is thicker than water, and it felt good to just let it out. Now�I can close that chapter and breathe a little easier.

After that, we sat and talked about what weapos;d been through and how itapos;s made us who and what we are... It was great. I was nobody else but myself, something I donapos;t often reveal too much off unless Iapos;m around Chels, Ode, Nursi or my sister.


All of this after a relatively uneventful day - apart from the jamming. It was kickass. I loved going at it with the drums. Itapos;s like controlling it, and yet Iapos;m listening to it - I�canapos;t explain it... But it was beautiful. I canapos;t wait till we jam again.


Exams are in two weeks; Iapos;ve gotta get into revision.

- Inez

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вторник, 14 октября 2008 г.

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Various items of note:

* Midterm grades were received. Miraculously I scraped by, my lowest grade being a D- and my highest being a C-. Clearly, I acknowledge this to be unacceptable, but you know what, Iapos;m just so happy to not be on suspension that I take it and take it happily.
* World of Warcraft is a product of Satan and is gloriously addictive.
* I have not weighed myself in about three weeks, have not been sticking to strictly Wight Watchers friendly food and stopped taking the stairs. This is teh suckage, as Fall Break begins this weekend and the plan is for me to visit the WW center and get weighed in. Fuuuuuck. I mean, its not like Iapos;ve been eating pizza and burgers (at least not often. No pizza, but Iapos;ve had a burger at least twice within the last two weeks) but the energy drinks Iapos;ve been draining down have probably counter acted all of my celery sticks.
* Still listening to Fleet Foxes.
* I have a huge culture paper due on Friday and still havenapos;t started on that. Need to make it a top priority.
*I think I need to read a book by my class at 2:20. Might want to check the syllabus and see what that is.
* TR. Colin is getting posted tonight, Vincent is tagging Kate, Freddy is getting a private thread begun so he and Larry can finally (and long overdue at that) run into each other. School may be my top priority, but Iapos;ve been miserable without my RP time.
* Need to clean the fishtank.
* Three days ago I cleaned my room of food and drink stuffs. As of now, I currently have eleven empty Full Throttle cans, four empty water bottles, and empty Powerade bottle and an empty Coke Zero can.
* I think its a safe bet that whatever they put in energy drinks that leads to the warning label of only two per day, Iapos;m probably overdosing on it. Eleven in three days. Yeesh.

Not really anything else that I can think of to add.
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Wet, stinking
Soaking their shoes
It�pours off the soapbox
And down Main Street

Like all liquid it races
For lower ground
In a quiet
Snaking flow

Burning eyes and ears
As we hear and see
The man with the plan
And the can.

A spark
From a bullet fired
Or a match
Or the slowly smoldering coals
Of fear.

Common sense burns
Like flesh,
Peeling away to reveal
The hard whiteness of hate

Smiling its Halloween
Grin at us,
As if to say
"I never left."

Who holds the fuel?

Follow the trail
Of flames
Back, back,
To the man whose hands
Are wet.






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понедельник, 13 октября 2008 г.

consequentialist




A diferencia de cuando uno era nino,ahora llegamos a una etapa de madurez e independencia,en donde la sociedad nos aplasta y nos humilla,sobrevivimos bajo estandares y normas,cuales leyes son fundamentales para cada uno de nosotros.


tantas responsabilidades,se procastinan en mi mente cada vez que me rio,fumo,bebo,duermo,ignoradas estan cada una de ellas,esperando a ser realizadas nada menos que por mi misma.


tan facil seria no hacer nada,pero que monotono seria hacer nada.

la verdad es que todo conlleva su sacrificio y tan merecido es su recompensa.


y el siempre pensar,el no dejarse llevar,por todo aquello que perjudique su futuro,ya que el presente ya es pasado y el futuro es nuestra unica esperanza.

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Saturday: Got up around 8A. Cleaned my house. Momma came home from work and we went shopping I found my black dress for Ktalapos;s party. I waited for Tran to come home, then I went over to her house, and we got a ride to Ktalapos;s. We came late and thought we weapos;re over dressed. It was funny. My eye shadow was too much, which made my eyes look smaller in pictures =( So I told most of everyone not to post any of me with make-up on =) Itapos;s terrible ><" Itapos;s bad apos;kos Iapos;m already chinky. And when I smile one eye is smaller than the other )apos;: Anyway, we danced and Ktal, Kaylee, and I drank a C. Sickkkkk man HAHAA. The we played Dare or double dare, Part 2. It wasnapos;t as fun as Part 1, but it was fun. LMAOOOO, Tran... I had to go home at 12A )= Earlyyyyy, my mom wouldnapos;t let me stay. Overall the night was alrightttt.
Sunday: I slept gooooooooood. But when I woke up, I was still pretty tired. I got ready and went to Co Jennyapos;s baby shower. I didnapos;t win any games )apos;: HAHAHAHAHAH, But I still got a prize bag. YAY ME Ima use all the things I got for school. Itapos;s so useful. YAY Okay, I need to sleep early tonight. I should probably start on me and Milissaapos;s: Joan Miro project.

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